4 gems.

The last blog I wrote was about reconstruction. I highlighted how changes in our lives were actually a process of reconstruction by God. We are not damaged, we are not broken, we are merely under reconstruction when we feel all things falling apart. Ironically, a week after my blog post, God began an enormous reconstruction process in my life. Everything changed. I felt blindsided, but was I really? I don’t know if it’s truly a coincidence that I was thinking about reconstruction a week before my life was slowly falling apart. For the past three months, I think reconstruction would accurately represent my life. During this process, I’ve learned a great deal of things. I would really like to make a great emphasis on the lessons I learned from four essential men in my life: my brothers.

If you can visualize a beautiful building being totally ransacked with everything torn apart, this was me. After this intense, almost instant event, all four of my brothers took a walk through this building and simply observed. They silently noticed the difference. When I was able to meet up with each of them, they each gave me a gem of knowledge. Malcolm was the first. Malcolm walked back through the building with me and helped me to be aware of what was going on in my life. With him, I became self-aware. By acknowledging the internal damage, I would be more inclined to redesign myself with God. After my walk with Malcolm, I met up with Cole. He placed in my hand another gem, the gem of humility & love. By watching him interact with others, I learned how to love others. My love for those around me would help me to focus less on my building and more on others. His tone of humility allowed me to understand God’s plan for my life. Cole taught me how to trust God and be humble enough to accept His plan for my life. Much of this lesson was given to me as I observed him and learned by his example. My third gem came from my youngest brother, Sebastian. His soft words reminded me that forgivness was essential. He taught me that regardless of the damage done in my building, I would never find joy, even after a new building was in place, if I didn’t forgive. I don’t need to run and ransack the “ransacker”, I need to let it go and focus on me. I need to pray for those that seek to destroy me. As we finished this discussion, I ran into my last brother, Alex. We sat on the floors of my broken building and we looked around at everything… totally destroyed. Nothing was left. I was empty. I looked around in self-doubt. I looked around hopelessly. Alex grabbed my hand and told me to close my eyes. He told me to imagine everything I wanted for my building. He told me to imagine with confidence that we could make it into ANYTHING I wanted. Together, we imagined what I could do with my building after it was reconstructed. Through this visionary process he told me to make him a promise. This promise required me to never allow self-doubt and fear to stunt my personal growth. This promise required me to take steps of courage even when I could not see what the future entailed. He essentially asked me to promise him to be fearless. Fearless? How do you become fearless? That day, I learned that fearlessness comes when you allow your courage to trump your fear every.single.time. Eventually, fear will be a foreign concept. This was the last gem I needed to get back up on my feet & work with the man reconstructing my building. It was the last gem I needed to be humble enough to go to God and tell Him that I trusted Him, that I loved Him, and I was ready to rebuild WITH Him. 

Three months later, as I go back through my building and observe the new things that have been reconstructed with God, I’m filled with gratitude and humility. I am filled with an abundant dose of love for my Savior, for my Redeemer. The One who redeemed me, The One who saves me, The One who is currently transforming me into a woman that couldn’t have been formed WITHOUT A God. By allowing Him to take control of the blue prints, I allowed Him to recreate a building that’s probably infinitely better than I could’ve done with my mortal hands & knowledge. I am on the verge of something new. Sometimes reconstruction can be scary and intimidating, but if it is done with God THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR. If anything, there’s excitement to know that the best is yet to come.

Look with the eyes of love and hope and KNOW that this “bad” thing will bear great fruit in the Hands of God. 

With love,



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