Mommy, I love you.

“She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the universe on her shoulders & made it look like a pair of wings” – Anonymous 

I can remember my mom’s voice sounding so angelic as a kid. She used to sing to me and I thought her voice was heaven sent. I can remember my mom baking chocolate chip cookies for me after school when she had the day off. I can remember the smell of Pine Sol on Saturday mornings when my mom cleaned the house. I can remember the sound of her laugh when she would crack a joke and be the only one laughing (I do this myself all the time). I can remember my childhood quite vividly. I remember when my parents split up for good and my mom was left to parent 5 kids on her own at the age of 26. My mother was forced to go to college, work, and parent 5 kids all under the age of 7, yikes. I can remember my mom leaving for a clinical for nursing school at 5:30 a.m. and dropping us off at my Aunt Michelle’s house before school. I can remember how tired she was when she came home after four nights of 12 hour shifts at the hospital…sometimes just so drained from life. I can remember the plea in her voice begging my brother’s and I to clean up after ourselves. I can remember the look in my mother’s eyes and the concern in her voice when she was worried about a certain friend or boy in my life. I can remember feeling annoyed when I came home after school and my mom asked me a bajillion questions about my day, my friends, and really just my life in general. I can remember skipping days to stay home to be with my mom to go hang out with my friends or a boy. I can remember all the Christmas traditions, family vacations, and family game nights. I can remember the sincere love she expressed when she said “I’m proud of you” after I gave my high school graduation speech. I can remember the shakiness in her voice when she dropped me off at my first college dorm as she tried to hold back her gentle tears. I can remember this all so vividly, and so many memories float through my mind. As I put everything together, I wonder why I didn’t notice the angel that was living with me my whole life. 

As I became a teenager, hanging out with my mom wasn’t like the coolest thing in the world. I took advantage of the time I had with her. When I got to college, everything dawned on me. Now of course moms always say, “one day you’ll appreciate me” to their kids when we’re acting up, but no, they meant it. By this phrase, my mom was hoping that one day I’d understand why she allowed my brothers and me to drink up her WHOLE ENTIRE Route 44 Sprite from Sonic before she even got a sip. She was hoping that one day I would understand why she told me to go back into the house and change. She was hoping that one day I would understand why she can’t work long nights at the hospital and still come home and make dinner for us. She was hoping that maybe one day I would understand the value of a mother. The value of her. 

I think just in a general sense, people take advantage of their mothers. I know I have, and probably still do to a degree. I mean how many people in the world would do everything to make someone happy before putting themselves first….every time. Mothers do this, without rethinking, every single time. It’s the unconditional love that I’ve witnessed from my mother that leaves such a special indention on my heart. 

Growing up, I knew my mom was pretty strong, but I didn’t realize just how strong she must’ve been until I hit life myself. I’m in college thinking, “Wow I am TIRED”, but I don’t even have a job, let alone 5 little children at home waiting on me to come home and feed them. Just being a college student can be pretty draining, but a mom too? Wow. And not just a mom of one kid, or two kids…but 5…and these kids rely solely on me to take care of them. I remember driving with my mom one day and I was telling her how tired I get from school. I was telling her this and I caught myself saying, “Wow, I don’t know how people have a kid and do this”…Things were silent for a second and I thought to myself, “Wow”, my mom knows exactly how it feels. We constantly hear that we are only given trials that we can handle. I thought to myself how HARD it is to do some of the things my mom has had to do. When I realized how hard it must’ve been, I realized just how strong of a person it takes to handle that. It’s so humbling to think that God entrusted her to handle a task as big as the one she was given. 

Ideally, you would think that a single mom of 5 kids probably would raise some “ehh” children. But, not to be biased, I genuinely think my mom did a pretty impeccable job. My brothers and I were given the opportunity to value hard work, we were able to witness unconditional love, and we were blessed to live in a home with a mother who cared so deeply about us. She always tried her best to create and keep traditions so that we had something special to hold on to when we left the nest. She always tried to create family vacations, even if it was a simple Sunday “staycation” because our lives were so busy. She always tried to give my brothers and me the best life she could provide. Sometimes I sit back and just think about my mom. I think about how tender her soul is. I sit and wonder if she knows just how special she is to me. I think about how she deserves the universe. She’s contributed so much to society simply by acting as a great mother and raising great children. But I think the greatest thing my mom showed me was how to be a mother. Now of course I won’t be a mother for a while, but I cannot wait until I am. 

Poem to my lovely Mom:

Your soul is clothed in strength

Your unconditional love has an undefinable length

Your love is as precious as it comes

Your eyes beam with immaculate beauty

You’ve raised 5 children that love you a ton

You’re always working, you never go off duty 

Your work ethic, it’s been driven with devotion

You’re willing to give your last to us without commotion

You’re a super woman, but that could never be fit

For you are so much more that that,

You are my MOM,

And I’d never change it. 

With love,

Your Evey


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